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Wednesday, December 23, 2009


Today, I have "writer's block." So, I thought I'd indulge in a fine paradox and explore this seemingly un-explorable subject.

The events of the day have been more boring than a conversation with a paperclip salesman. My wife and I packed up and drove to the in-laws. It's the holiday season; so naturally, I drove as if everyone on the road was trying to kill me. Everybody else drove as if I was playing hard to get. If yarn had been attached to the wheels of these vehicles, they would have woven quite a tapestry over that highway. I wondered if I had brought gauze.

I'm always disconcerted when I see a man on his phone, or a women texting while operating a vehicle. I don't fear for people's safety, I fear for their grammar usage! I tried it once. A simple "I love you" to the wife. I ended up sending the message "I lobe you" to a dear friend, who has, over the years, been many things to me, but a wife has not been one of them. Consequently, the word "lobe" is a German verb, meaning to worship. Though I hold my friend in high regard, I must confess, his name hadn't crossed my mind the last time I approached an altar.

I'm a man who likes a challenge, so long as it doesn't involve building anything, or wrapping a Christmas present--a seemingly-simple task that has me convinced I'd have better chances at designing a Gucci purse, or joining the efforts of the Human Genome Project. My challenge to myself is to one day text Whitman's "Song of Myself" in its entirety to my wife, while navigating Atlanta's roads during the after-work hours.

So far, I haven't gotten past the I....,but I'm sure that one of the people I passed on the highway was texting Hamlet to a friend.

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